Hello! A couple weeks ago we covered the parable that Jesus
gives about the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18. Forgiveness and conflict
resolution can be extremely difficult. Sometimes, the easiest thing would be
just to skip this step and move on with life in order to save ourselves the
possibility of any extra pain. In reality, unforgiveness is a poisonous thorn
that drives people further away from each other and from God.
As Jesus is talking about forgiveness, his disciple Peter
brings up a question in Matthew 18:21:[1]
“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I
forgive him? As many as seven times?”
The question begs some cultural context. Apparently, the
Jewish custom at the time was to allow forgiveness for offenses up to three
times. By extending this limit to seven, it would appear that Peter is trying
to be extra gracious. But Jesus replies,
“I do not say to you seven times but seventy-seven
times.”
This response also begs explanation. According to Jewish
culture, the numeric expressions of ‘seventy times’ something, ‘seventy-fold’,
or in this case seventy seven, emphasized an infinite, limitless amount. That is to say,
Jesus is not simply raising Peter’s legalistic “forgiveness strike-out” limit
from 7 to 77, whereby on the 77th account of pardon there would be
no further forgiveness; rather Jesus is blowing any sense of limitation to
forgiveness out of the water. Forgiveness is not supposed to be limited, and
just because a person wrongs you, even repeatedly, the necessity of forgiveness
is not negated. This response from Jesus is unnatural according to human
standards, and terribly difficult to adopt into our lives. But Jesus follows
his response with the parable of the unforgiving servant. If you have not read
it, please read Matthew 18: 23-35! Long story short, a King forgives a servant
of an insurmountable debt (in the million/billion dollar range) and that same forgiven
servant wrings the neck of a fellow servant, demanding a much smaller debt
(comparable to something trivial in the hundreds of dollars range) that was
owed to him, showing no mercy. When the King hears of these actions, he throws
the unforgiving servant in jail until his debt is paid off.
The point of the parable is not ultimately one of despair.
It may seem so, for the fate of the first, unforgiving servant is terrible and Jesus
follows the story with the solemn words, “So also my heavenly Father will do
to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” Rather,
the point of the parable is to teach us of the gravity of our debt before God,
and to drive us to a place of worship before God under the realization that we
have been wondrously forgiven! The glory of forgiveness is in the grace and
mercy of God. The kingdom of heaven is, and one day will be like a King who
settles accounts with his servants. All people have an account to settle before
God, and actually, every single person alive stands facing an insurmountable
debt worse than billions of dollars: we cannot escape our sin, the things we
say, think, or do that displeases our holy God. At youth group we referenced
Ephesians 2:1-10[2] where
we are told of sin’s grave chasm of debt that stands between us and God- that
there is literally nothing we can do to get out of sin, but God provides
merciful salvation for us because of His great love and grace. We are naturally
not deserving of forgiveness, but God floods our undeserving state with
complete and utter forgiveness, with a future of life and relationship with
Him.
So we forgive because we have been forgiven. Because we are flooded
with the underserved mercy and love of God, freshly exposed to intimate
relationship with Him as the great separating chasm of sin is instantly
removed, we are compelled by God’s love to overflow with forgiveness and mercy
to the people around us. It will be difficult to forgive others because we will
experience offense, hurt, and disappointment… but as we pursue an intimate
relationship with our lavishly merciful God, the strength and empowerment to
forgive can flow through us as well, bringing with it passion for
reconciliation and the restoration of relationships. In youth group I gave a
personal definition of forgiveness: a decision to let go of the hurt inside,
and restore relationship. Without this desire for restoration, I don’t believe
that forgiveness can really be true, because we are not being filled with the
relationship-restoring love of God.
The danger of unforgiveness is threefold. First after the
offense or hurt is taken, our hearts can become filled with anger, pride, and
self-centeredness. All you can think about is how hurt you are, and how dare
the other person hurt you! Anger grows steadily and subtly, even making you
unconsciously consider hurting the other person in return by shutting them out
from relationship.
Second, When pride and anger fester and we cut all bonds of
fellowship with one another, the thick pesticides of grudges unarguably
exterminates any attempt for new growth or restoration. Grudges effectively
kill our relationships with family and friends, hurting them and ourselves in
the process.
Finally, as our hearts wall off with pride and we break
relational intimacy with each other, our relationship with God becomes strained
and is ultimately damaged because of our refusal to accept and take part in
God’s love. Our walls of pride shut Him out as well, separating us from the
life source and remedy of our unforgiveness. God takes this very seriously, as
seen in the parable, and He warns us that our own forgiven state will be
removed if we fail to forgive others around us.
Now, unforgiveness is a sin like any other, and can easily
be forgiven, but I don’t think that most people understand just what a present
menace unforgiveness is in their lives today, the menace it poses to their
current relationships, and the danger it poses in their relationship with God.
The good news is that forgiveness is available through Jesus
Christ, full and unlimited, conditional only upon our belief in Him. “Though
your sins were as scarlet they are made white as snow.”[3]
We have cause for great joy in the heart of our God, who is full of mercy
and love and who, by Jesus, makes a way for us to be fully forgiven and fully
known. Blessed be His Name!
Extras!
·
Need help remembering to
forgive? Memorize Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God
in Christ forgave you.”[4]
·
Need comfort in God’s full
and unlimited forgiveness for you? Read 1 John 1:9-2:2
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we
have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little
children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if
anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the
righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also
for the sins of the whole world.”[5]