All I have is Christ

I began this post a long time ago. Various events have kept me from writing, but I am forced by conviction and conscience to pick it up again.

I had these words written on my palm for quite a while. They have transformed me, though they are simple. I first wrote them during the end of this fall semester, and having meditated on it throughout the year I have come to a conviction that is evident in my past, vital for my present, and essential for my future.

First, regarding my past. There have been two things in the last year that have reminded me of the need for the centrality of Christ in my life.

During the middle of fall semester I struggled with apathy. Many college students do, but it has become an abominable thing to me. It is far too easy for my soul to coast, to disengage, to procrastinate, and to seek comfortable familiarity when it comes to spiritual matters. What’s more, when I allow this to happen I find that I am increasingly bent to find pleasure in places other than God. My heart is adulterous to the core; though I am redeemed through Christ, I still find it necessary to take forcible, yea violent, action in order to “keep my heart with all vigilance.” (Prov 4:23)

College is rough, mentally. At times it can be a never-ending stream of responsibility, and you feel like you can’t breathe. It’s in these times that you’ll discover where your priorities are, and they’re all too often in the wrong places. I found myself craving free time. Eventually I got it, either by hard work or by procrastination, and it was a huge relief. I was determined to enjoy my free time, and I did so by relaxing, playing video games, goofing off with guys in my hall, and by simply wasting time.

The problem here wasn’t my desire for free time; rather, it was what I did with my free time- and even the subconscious purpose that I had ‘predestined’ for it. Because of what Christ has done for me in sending His Son to be the propitiation for my sins, I am no longer my own, but am rather owned by my Savior. I am a bond-servant of the Lord; Christ is the purpose for my life. It only makes sense that I would give my free time to Him.

What?! Give God all of my free time? That’s crazy. You say, ‘Jacob, I have a life; I can’t be a monk.’ I am not proposing that I or others be monks; but merely that we give the Lord the first fruits of our free-time and affection. It might seem ridiculous- I fear it’s an unfamiliar resolution for the majority of young people,- but when I consider the fact that I have been bought by the blood of Christ (1Cor 7:23) and have pledged to pick up my cross for a life of daily death (Matt 16:24), I cannot help but resolve to give the first fruits of my time and energy to Christ. Whether my free time be social or devotional, for me to live is Christ. (Phil 1:21) Therefore, I am

Resolved: to consecrate my free time for Christ by means of reading, journaling, and prayer.

Also, when I first started this post I was undergoing the complications of gaining and losing a relationship. The aftermath was rough, as I’m sure any young lover could testify. However, my problem wasn’t so much an immature affection as much as it was an affection lacking focus on the central supremacy of the glory of Christ in my life. I realized that at the end of the day, Christ is really all that I ever have. I am not my own; I cannot build anything in my life unless it is eternally founded in Christ, my rock. He alone is my stability.

Secondly, regarding my present; though I live every day with wants and desires, there are none that satisfy save my Savior. He is my “fountain of living waters.” (Jer 2:13) To delude my thirst with any other cistern would be both appalling and vain. Therefore I must give Him the priority of my soul, for it is in Him alone that I can be satisfied. All I have, all that ever truly satisfies, is Christ. Therefore, I am

Resolved: to take every thought captive which leads me towards satisfaction apart from Christ, and to approach the Word with humility and hunger, in the faith that I shall be filled.

Lastly, regarding my future: I must take heed that I am taking my own advice. I need to go somewhere.

I have had the privilege of giving humble counsel to several of the godly young women in my life, concerning the uncertainty of the progression of current relationships. I can only include a portion of this advice here, which by God’s grace I was able to glean from a sermon I can’t remember.

In short, based on Proverbs 31, godly women need to be ‘going somewhere’. The woman exemplified in this passage is skilled with her hands, is responsible with her time/ possessions, and is considerate of her future, all for the glory of God. She has a game plan, and she is doing something with her life for God’s glory; she is not just sitting around. A godly man should be attracted to a woman who thusly loves Christ and is doing something about it; not one who is sitting around idly waiting to be swept off her feet. The godly woman has a directional purpose; should she be sovereignly interrupted by the man of God’s choosing, then she blesses His name and changes her plans. But until that day she resolves to purposefully serve Christ with her life, single.

Having communicated this several times, I finally realized that I need to be ‘going somewhere’ as well; it’s a universal call. As Christians, all of us are called to serve Christ first in our lives, to the exclusion of all else. We have picked up our crosses and forsaken our former lives of self-indulgence, in order that we may give all to Christ in whatever occupation or provision we find ourselves. For me specifically, I have resolved to pursue pastoral ministry; and I implore the grace of God because in reality I strive for more than a job, or a ministry. I strive for a heartbeat.

Ministry is hard -for any Christian- not only because it deals with messy people, but also because it never ends. Ministry is in Africa, yes- not to mention Mexico, or across the country, or on the streets, or in the future.  But if your ministry does include a beating passion to glorify Christ with those in your immediate vicinity right now, so long as it is called ‘right now’ (Heb 3:13), then you will be hard pressed to do ministry anywhere else.

By the grace of God, I strive for a pastoral heartbeat. This is where I’m going. I cannot afford to linger where I am, or to give affection to other pleasures that only distract me. I must continually press on. Therefore, I am

Resolved: to passionately pursue a life of pastoral ministry for the glory of God, to the exclusion of all other competing desires, and to the ultimate goal of making others satisfied in God.

I stand with Paul, saying, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.” Phil 3:8

Since I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, I strive to lay aside every weight and sin, which clings so closely, in order that I may run the race with endurance, looking to Him who is both Founder and Perfecter of my faith. Heb 12:2

My point and conclusion is simple: Christ is all I have, and therefore I give Him my all. It’s quite easy to say, but another thing entirely to do. I know that this threefold resolution will require the whole of my affection without ceasing; therefore I beg and welcome accountability from you, dear reader, as I strive to press on by God’s grace.

However, I also implore you: join me! This is by no means something that applies only to me, for we are all running the same race, with a faith in the same Savior, at work in the same ministry. Let us push each other on to greater godliness!

Resolve today: ‘As for us, WE will serve the Lord, because all we have is Christ.’